Who Else Learned Surprising Lessons From The Pandemic?

Think back to December 2019 and ringing in the new year. What comes up for you? 

I knew 2020 was going to bring many changes — but who had ANY idea what was in store for us?! (Cue maniacal laughter. It’s alright. You’re among friends!)

I mean, we handle a lot. We try to take care of it all and keep everything running smoothly. Or, at least as smooth as possible…? We try. That’s the point. I’m not perfect, and I’m sure you’re not either. And that’s okay.

With a year like this, it’s really been a litmus test for who we really are and what we’re made of. Like a different spin on a ‘Covid test.’ Not an internal check for a virus in your body, but for the health of our other vital parts. 

It all started with “pandemic parenting” moments, and needing to be there for my kids in a new way. I realized I wasn’t being the role model I wanted to be for my girls. That one hurt. But it was a blessing because now I’m changing that.

What did you find? Have you taken time to think about how you’re really doing, what you’ve learned, and what you want to carry into 2021? 

As I looked at what I missed, I saw what I cared about. I’d hidden away parts of myself under life’s busyness. I realized there’s so much I want to do — I have so much more to give. And how we handle tough times can be carried into “normal times.” (Not that we’re there yet!) 

While the pandemic nudged — well, pushed — me to start my journey of self-discovery more quickly than I might have otherwise, I hope that something I’ve learned can help you learn and grow yourself.

How I THOUGHT 2020 Would Go — And The Hard Reality

At first, I thought the typical stuff. You know, “new year, new goals, new you… blah blah blah.” 

Then, Covid hit. My travel business, which I love, came to a screeching halt. No more preparing clients for their long-awaited vacations, or seeing their smiling faces on social media as they enjoyed trips with loved ones. Instead, I was canceling. Rebooking. And in some cases, as time went on, rebooking a trip for the 2nd or 3rd time. 

On the home front, pre-Covid, I was set to sit back and enjoy the last months of my quadruplets’ senior year of high school. (Yes, quads. All girls.) I’d done the last game, last day of school, last dance routine — all the ‘lasts’ — with my two older daughters. I was READY to take it all in — x’s 4!!

Now, they were home all day, every day, finishing out their senior year remotely. Many of those precious milestones were in jeopardy.

At first, it was hard not to be bitter, right? We all probably felt the urge to stomp our feet and say, “this isn’t fair!” Fighting the stress-induced tantrum, hoping to just make it all normal again. Especially for our kids.

Eventually, I set myself straight with a good, firm “buck up camper!” I’ve always said I want to lead my six daughters by example. So the real change had to start with me.

I got myself together so I could inspire my girls. I told the quads we’d celebrate the milestones — but it might look a little different. Cue magic-mom creativity! We went to work. How could we make senior year — at home, in a pandemic — fun and fantastic?

The Way It ACTUALLY Happened

With social gatherings limited to 10, we held our own Senior ‘Quad Prom.’ The girls wore fancy prom masks that my mom sewed out of my dad’s shirts. He passed away the fall before, so having a piece of Grandpa there with them meant the world — to all of us. 

Prom date pictures included hand sanitizer and those masks, and a game of bingo decided Prom King and Queen. Korey, my husband, even dressed up in a suit to help serve their prime rib dinner! All because it mattered — and they deserved their special day.

On the last day of school, my sister used her amazing photo skills and the quads got their own private photoshoot. Yes, they matched! (What can I say? I’m a total sucker for them in matching shirts.) They were even featured in the local news!

The icing on the cake? We got to talk to Hoda on The Today Show! I love her. I watch the show religiously every morning, and she just feels like an old friend. 

We had less than 24 hours’ notice to show up in the Virtual Plaza, with no way of knowing who’d get picked to go live. WE DID!!! The quads sat in their caps and gowns, grinning in the spotlight, and celebrated their graduation live on NBC!

Our memories were better than we could’ve imagined. Had we done the usual senior year stuff, we would’ve missed unique opportunities like these. What are your special memories that happened BECAUSE everything changed? Did you find new meaning with “normal life” seeming to stand still?

For me, I learned what mattered most — spending time together with my family. I got bonus time with my girls before they headed off after graduation. With the usual busyness stripped away, we got through and reinvented it all — together. How lucky is that?

Back in my travel business, I realized one of my biggest payoffs wasn’t just the money I earn after someone travels, but actually seeing my clients getting to enjoy their trips! I gained a whole new appreciation for what I do.

And then, after nothing but cancellations and rebooking, I felt the ripple of excitement as I placed a deposit on the first new trip in months. It reminded me of the very first one I booked — 20 years old and fresh out of travel school! We don’t often get to reignite a career passion, so it got me thinking…

If so much could change at home and work because of my attitude shift, what else did I need to look at? 

How I Measured Up In My Own Type of ‘Covid Test’

Not the one where you swab up to your brain with a long cotton stick. The kind where you sit down — in the middle of a worldwide pandemic — to take a hard look at your life. 

As the quads started moving out after graduation, Korey and I faced an intensely empty nest. With four kids leaving around the same time, it was beyond weird. Just us — for the first time in 24 years. 

With more time than usual for self-reflection, I asked big questions. What was this time really teaching me about myself — outside of motherhood and career? If you asked yourself that, what would you see?

I saw that, while I spent years helping everyone else, I helped myself last — if at all. Here we think we’re doing everyone a service by putting ourselves last… And it’s just too easy for us to do that as moms, wives, bosses — as women. Everyone needs something, all the time, and we rush to take care of it.

But with my ‘Covid Test,’ I quickly realized I was leaving some of the best parts of me tucked away. Parts of me that could really help others AND myself at the same time.  

All that needed to change for a healthy, well-balanced me and a more fulfilling life. I love a good trip, but what I really needed was to start with the journey of finding myself again.

Facing an empty nest with 4 daughters leaving at once, less work as people traveled less, and the world feeling shut down — I had plenty of time for this new adventure.

Since I was pretty much out of excuses to put off what I really wanted, I dusted off that list of “someday” stuff I’d hidden away so long. I turned that list into action.

Can you guess one of the first things?

What I Did With My Surprising Test Result 

Right there, near the top: WRITING. Poems, play on words, and storytelling have always lit my creative fire. In grade school, getting my book selected to attend the Young Author’s convention felt like winning the lottery! 

Because I always had great feedback on my writing, I went to college with big plans that started with majoring in journalism. Until my writing professor ripped me to shreds on several assignments. I can’t tell you how much weight his little dweeby voice carried in my own head. (Seriously, and a little embarrassingly, until very recently.) 

Do you know what I mean? I had let that little seed stop my writing and grow into a whole field of self-doubt — but it wouldn’t control me anymore. I let myself want to write again. Suddenly, it felt new and exciting!

In my reflection, I noticed a common theme of helping people. And it’s not just what I do as a mom and wife or in my job, but everywhere. I truly enjoy being there for others and seeing them light up. 

And with this renewed passion dusted off, now I can do both.

What All This Means For YOU

I want to use my writing to help other women feel and know: you’re not alone. We’re in this together. We can be and do whatever we want — just like we tell our kids! And no, we won’t ever be perfect. We’ll be our quirky, perfectly imperfect selves.

I told my family and committed to my first project: a book chapter in a collaborative “how-to” book. My husband smiled, looked at me and said, “it’s about time.” (Cue happy tears!) 

My daughters said “Mom, we didn’t know that you wanted to write! And we didn’t know this was so important to you.” Here I thought I was being an example to them! But I wasn’t living out my own dreams — and that’s all changing now.  

So, my new friend, here we are. You’ve been through your own ups and downs in a year that hit hard out of the blue. 

What are your lessons, your ‘test’ results? If you haven’t let yourself put down your thoughts, really ask yourself big questions, or pat yourself on the back for how you handled it all — here’s your warm invitation. Please do it! 

I bet you’d surprised yourself with how much you’ve grown — and what you want — moving into 2021. I never thought I’d write books or blog posts. What do YOU really want that you’ve hidden away? 

This is our year. Step out in faith with me as we start this next chapter in life. Me as a new writer following her passion, and you as…? I’d love to know! 

It’s going to be an adventure — let’s enjoy the trip!

Happy we’re traveling together,

xo